Ward Off

The last time that I saw my father he was wrapped in one of the foil blankets that are favoured by exhausted runners, though this was some time before the explosion in marathon running turned finish lines into parades of self-basting human ready meals. He was sitting up in bed and quite, quite dead. It […]

Purple Rain.

It has taken me some time to come to terms with the events of last night. I had decided, in Lisa’s continued absence, to celebrate the conclusion of the holidays by taking the children to see ‘Dawn of Planet of the Apes’ at the cinema in the Westfield Shopping Centre. I was tired. It had […]

The view is breathtaking.

There are things that should not happen to a chap, sights that should not be seen. Now, my father-in-law is a man’s man. He has spent years deep in the wildernesses of several continents prospecting, and wrestling bears, and biting the heads off snakes and generally defining rugged. He is the real deal, he makes […]


Sheffield from London, first thing in the morning? Excellent.  Said veeeery few people. This morning’s variation on the standard middle aged misery of being unable to find my glasses because I couldn’t see without them: As I searched with increasing urgency (because I hadn’t included ‘find glasses’ in my list of 5am tasks) I became […]

One Man Went to Mow.

One of the joys of my job is the unanticipated day at home. This gives me a chance to spend some quality time with my lovely wife. I know that she was genuinely saddened to remember that she had to go out all day. As she left, in a bit of a rush – she […]

Boy gone.

The boy’s first big adventure away, the school trip to France. I didn’t go on mine so consequently France remained in my mind this strange land, source of flick knives, bangers and Gitanes. The French spent their whole time being really cool, while producing utterly shit pop, puffing on fags and cleaning their nails with […]

Brief Encounter.

This morning my knees hurt more than usual as I staggered up the escalator at Marylebone, and the prospect of another day’s futile submissions before an uncaring tribunal (whose civil practice leads him to view all criminal hacks as witless shysters who provide some comic relief at their own expense) weighed heavily. The dimly remembered […]